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empty page painful overcome recovering momentary high lungs hurt buzzing skin low fire habit brain hurt wheels against unstuck pathetic cinematographer christ moments dramatic blur shred nudity fierce wonderful women love crucial bipeds random life god forbid zero pale compacted trash photograph brown flattened cardboard thought mind apology little box easier to accept lie wrapped truth mad individual inside friend lover grocer fall apart dust god mice death object thought hope word memory failing forget things listening sleeping breathing watching this star one night started to move not fall but move blinked and back supposed to be dented brain dream color sleep a year dream drives crazier slaps me sleeping face woke up tomorrow fifty grey consideration afraid woman elude painfully convinced have already met her see clear her eyes missed chance woman at laundromat beautiful probably her fucking luck lost in music love with voice purchase behind closed eyes bottle a voice couldn't breathe almost die find shelter in mouth between awake a dream dark in places brilliant others reds blood blues sky eyelids mind music peaceful chaotic sensual stagnate music ended eyes open tragically clear strawberry shortcake couch lost rest of eternity lost darkness behind eyelids drunk altered mind waste 20 women fucking pathetic hot shaky strange man sitting bench strange man bar coffee house drunk pulled gum off some arm drunk but gum on arm (how the hell did that get there?) is that gum? talking to nobody part trust me thoughts floating place thought on page mind to pen need sleep flipping channels trio 2 violins cellist classical stole friend love with wanted woman sadly never have rachel burton violin sorry kids really do love told told back sad drunk mild intoxication bad cigarettes fucking muggy rain rent forever last breath lungs red monkey garage sale vase thing female abstract piece pause pause her life mysterious beauty grace beautiful sensual feels looks thinks killing inside 2 eyes mirror she called listen to me human being christ hard words pen hand bleakly heart was fire mind hurts idea of me intense mad person unattainable god fascinates me hope jumps into eyes we don't make sense that sting created life a dream burn pain enough cry just once getting real make things stale apologize block 2 days chaos massive head injury plural for moose interludes ramblings (if i could see me now) words words words words thoughtless mindless confusion thoughts everything wanted anything need nothing have crazy subtle life this mind? this life? transparent cardboard plywood forever forget crinkle cut of cloud ground from sky from stars (and as fast as i recognized it for what it was it had vanished into the darkness surrounding) clean fragmented life can be beautiful ugly world ugly things failed... |
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