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worrying about silly shit stupid useless mindless shit wondering if it will get any better than this it really has to supposed to should in time worrying about that her out there that her that eludes me that she without a name a face for me to put a face to wriggling out of wet clothes cold and cold and cold freezing for the moment thinking of god and mice and rain freezing a moment again just right sometimes not always drinking but it is so very big foaming at the mouth not my mouth yours and the thought really scares me sometimes like now all rabid and canine and frothing come scream with me some place quiet until we get there screaming with nobody around to hear us but us and you and me and the fear that i feel inside the fear that i feel inside of you for a moment fleeting serene but still screaming forgetting how to breathe sometimes like now gasping until my eyes hurt just behind my sight out of reach out of mind out of you still screaming hoping you'll stop wondering if i've stopped since i started when i started eludes me for a moment hugging the space in front of me around the remains of that scream that her that she that turns out to be nothing but noisy air fading ghost and smoke from where i thought you were where i remembered seeing you hearing you last smoke where you should be coughing and gasping remembering how to breathe wishing i'd forget forever because because i still hope that the smoke will turn around turn itself around inside out back about two minutes and maybe this time you'll be real. |
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